Over the past year or so the eye for detail and commitment to my job that I had loved for over twenty years was diminishing. With the challenges becoming more and more difficult to deal with. I was feeling so alone and that know one could understand what I was going through. Too scared to discuss my feelings with any work colleagues for fear of them losing confidence in me or me being able to do my job. I had created quite a standing in my field over many years with an impeccable reputation. I started to feel because of my lack of caring or placing my work as number, which it had been ever since I can remember that this hard work or building such a name for myself was falling apart. With many challenges over recent months I am surprised if I was perfectly honest with myself that it had not come crashing down sooner.
The universe sent me a life line to exit the crumbling Colosseum of my career without too much of my pride damaged in the process and most of all without a huge financial blow, actually it was a windfall. After many weeks of finalising the ending of two decades of my life, it was only then I started to feel the enormity of what I had done. I put a wrecking ball straight through that stone bridge. I felt very alone and really didn't know which way to turn, but all this was on the inside. The outside was a totally different picture with enthusiasm for the coming months with no direction and no income and with loads of options headed my way. This is the pretend me that everyone I knew except for husband and kids has seen for years and now that I want to become a new person i feel that I need to end all relationships that were built during that time in my life. Of course there were many of those relationships I would be happy never to think of again.
After a couple of weeks the emails and phone calls from my previous life were starting to be less frequent but initially the disbelief was quite overwhelming, how could I walk away from such a seemingly successful, rewarding and lucrative career.
